Alright gang, let’s bring it in. I’ve got some news for you, got some reviews, and a few other interesting things to discuss. Put your hands in…Team Nerd-Badass, ready…break!

I mentioned before that I’m in the middle of a grueling job search at the moment. Well, there might be a little light at the end of the tunnel now. I had a phone interview the other day with a hiring manager for a company Freeman. Freeman provides Audio/Video solutions for all kinds of presentations and conventions, some on a very large scale. Well, I guess I made an impression, because I have a more formal, wear your fancy pants, type interview set up for Monday. Keep your fingers crossed for me, I’m hoping this works out.

I’ve gone and seen a couple more movies that I have on my Summer See list, and I feel like I want to give some small reviews of them. Now, since these flicks are only a week old at this point, I’ll try to avoid any kind of spoilers. So here we go.

After Earth
After-Earth

The previews of this movie let you know that Will Smith is some kind of military badass, and on a trip with his son, their ship crash lands on the long abandoned planet Earth, on which everything has evolved to kill humanity. It sounds nice in theory, but once you learn that this was a film by M. Night Shyamalan, and your expectations are instantly lowered. I covered this much in my preview and said that I wasn’t holding my breath.
::sigh::
I wish that I could tell you that I was wrong about it. I can’t though, the bar was not raised.
To start things off, Will Smith’s character is injured in the crash, and basically spends the majority of the movie sitting and directing his son around. All the weight then comes to rest on Jaden Smith‘s shoulders…and god is his performance weak. Like, really weak. I never saw him in the Jackie Chan version of Karate Kid, but Jesus, the kid cannot act. Not even by elementary school standards.
The plot was extremely poor too, and completely reliant on the movies action. Hell, I’ll go ahead and spoil the movie for you. Jaden fights a bunch of creatures and elements, and finds the ships emergency beacon. That’s it! There’s some subplot thrown in there about finding and cultivating your inner badass, but it’s just weak.
The visuals in the movie were also so horrible. I’m talking the quality of the CGI, nothing looked real. Transformers; it looked legit, Rise of the Planet of the Apes; extremely convincing, After Earth; I could tell it was computer generated the whole time. I mean, I know that’s obvious, but my suspension of disbelief never took effect.
I want to grasp at straws here to find some redeeming qualities, but even the music in this movie didn’t feel like it matched. The underlying backstory was the only thing I felt mildly interesting. I don’t want to come right out and call this movie bad, but it certainly wasn’t good, so let’s leave it at that.
After Earth4 out of 10

On a related note, I read an article recently that compared the plot and the iconography to the values and pillars of Scientology. I was a really interesting article that made a fair few points. The comparison and linkage to Scientology might be one of the reasons why After Earth has gotten such poor patronage in its opening weekend. I dunno if I buy into all of what the article is selling, but I won’t deny y’all the opportunity to decide for yourselves. So here’s the link to the article for you.

Anyways, moving on…

Now You See Me
now_you_see_me_xlg

The previews will tell you that this flick is about a group of 4 magicians, calling themselves the 4 Horsemen, staging elaborate bank heists under the guise of magic. This movie has an all star cast: Jesse Eisenberg, Mark Ruffalo, Woody Harrelson, Isla Fischer, Dave Franco, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, and Mélanie Laurent, which you might recognize from Inglourious Basterds(2009). I’ve gotta say, they all deliver. The visuals in this movie were stunning, and the plot did a good job of pulling me in. I really left wishing there was more magic though…it was really more of a flashy heist movie. There are a few plot twists, a few cheesy lines, but a really good movie.
The thing is, I don’t know what else to say about this movie. As good as it was, it’s extremely forgettable. By the end of the weekend, it will have completely disappeared from my mind. It was great, but it didn’t grip me that well…it’s not really buzz worthy. It’s a very generic movie that, despite its star-studded cast, failed to blow me away. Normally I’m thinking about a movie from in my seat in the theater all the way to my bed, when I’m laying down at night. I walked out of the theater thinking about what was in my fridge at home, and I just ate at the theater! I wish I had more good things to say about this movie, but it was just good.
Now You See Me – 6 out of 10

I’m looking back on my summer movie list, and I’m realizing now that I forgot to post dates along with all those movies, so by the time you read this, you can go back and figure out when to pop all these into your schedules. I also don’t know what I was thinking adding American Mary to the list, that came out last year…brain fart, delete. There are a couple I want to add to the list as well.

The Bling Ring – 6/14
A group of celebrity obsessed teens use the internet and social media to track their favorite stars and rob their houses. I think I’m more interested in this flick because it features Emma Watson looking pretty sexy, and comes with an ‘R’ rating. This movie was also inspired by true events.

The World’s End – 8/23
The newest movie featuring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost (Shaun of the Dead (2004), Hott Fuzz (2007), and Paul (2011)) where they reunite a a group of friends after 20 years to do a legendary uncompleted pub crawl. The only problem is, the inhabitants of their home town have been replaced by robots. As ridiculous as the premise is, you know this is one of those movies that’s going to be amazing. This flick also features Martin Freeman, Paddy Considine, Eddie Marsidan, and Rosamund Pike.

Speaking of Emma Watson, she’s been rumored to be the lead role in an upcoming adaptation of Beauty and the Beast. I usually want to hate on everything that was a fairy tale or a cartoon when I was a kid, and finds its way to becoming a big hit movie as I’m an adult (Snow White and the Huntsman (2012), Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013) , Jack the Giant Slayer (2013), The Great and Powerful Oz (2013), etc.)…but for the sake of Emma Watson, I’ll give it a chance.

The theaters will probably be pretty packed now that all the kiddoes are out for summer, so I may have to back off of seeing things so close to opening weekend for a while. Ugh…the kiddoes…I still hate kids.

I’m reminded now of a story I ran across a couple weeks ago that I was just flabbergasted by. See if you agree.
May 24th, Quebec — A Canadian school board opened an investigation after one of Cap-Jeunesse high school’s teachers strip searched 28 sophomores after a cell phone went missing during a final exam. Yea, you read that correctly…strip searched.

underwear_strip_search

I remember when a coach got fired from my high school, a couple of years after I had graduated, for an apparent inappropriate relationship with one of his softball players, or something. This just seems daft though. A strip search? And no one at the time thought to speak up and say, “This might be inappropriate.” at all? (I remember a couple of teachers whom I’d have enjoyed being strip searched by, but that’s a different story) There was nothing said in the story as to whether the teacher faced any disciplinary action or not, which I thought was the most bizarre thing. Ugh…what the hell do they have going on in schools these days. Another reason I’m so weary of ever getting around to having kids.

Well, that’s all I’ve got for you this week. Not sure what I have planned for next week, but at a bare minimum I’ll probably have another movie review for you. Let’s see what else I can come up with in the mean time. Till then…

Keep your heads up, your minds sharp, and your hearts open.

– CVSleen

Homemade Chocolate Chip and Blueberry Pancakes

Homemade Chocolate Chip and Blueberry Pancakes

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Comments
  1. I’ll have to come by for pancakes one day. :3
    Bling Ring looks interesting, but I don’t think I’ll manage it for theaters though. Fairy tale movies keep coming in and out of media lately. It’s interesting seeing everyone’s spin on it.
    *crosses fingers*

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