The Final Frontier

Posted: April 3, 2012 in Vacation/Travel
Tags: , , ,

Hot dang, where the hell did March go? I thought it was supposed to be longer. I guess I just lost track of time. It happens a lot. I’ve got a lot of stuff to talk about here, and not a lot of time to say it. I’ll try and space this out a little so it doesn’t all turn into a mess of verbal diarrhea in one post.

I’ll try and tackle the much exalted Spring Break here. I am about 2 weeks behind with that anyways, so it seems as good a place to start as any. So, conjure up some majestic music for yourself, and we’ll begin.

I won’t bore you with tales of packed backage, but I assure you that I arrived at the airport on Friday the 16th with my bags packed up, cowboy up, and ready for an adventure. A few iPad movies and a stop off in Seattle later, I found myself staring at the promised land…


I was met at the airport by my brother, Kevyn. Well, he isn’t exactly my brother. He’s, well…we don’t have the same father, but we have different mothers. Anyways, I wish we could have gotten right down to kicking ass and taking names, but time travel takes a lot out of you. Hell, I traveled back three hours, that crap ain’t easy. I was beat, so we rested the night and vowed to commit kickassery in the morning.

Look it up, kickassery, it’s a word. What, you can’t find it? Your dictionary is out of date.

We awoke the next morning with a powerful hunger and a bloodlust, so we downed a country breakfast and made for the mountains armed to the teeth. What were we looking to do, packing all that heat? We were going to bring into the global war, the one nation that has yet to enter its army into the global theatre…the eskimo nation.

Okay. Okay, you called my bluff. We didn’t go attack the eskimos. We had no bloodlust. But we did want to go up into the mountains and shoot some guns. So we went to the gun range, more or less. It was actually just the side of the road, up in the mountains. Yea, you can shoot your guns on the side of the road up there, just as long as you’re not shooting across the road. What’s not to love about that?

We got our jollies off after a 15 minute shoot off, and left feeling satisfied. We ventured a little bit further up into the mountains before getting shut down by 14 feet of snow on the road. Maybe it was more like 4 or 5, I tend to exaggerate a little bit. Kev has a 4×4 but it ain’t a snow plow, so we turned around and headed back.

At this point in the year we are at Spring Equinox, in fact it was March 20th, so the days weren’t much longer than the nights. In other words, we weren’t having that 30 days of night or 30 days of “Jesus Sun, why don’t you set already!” You might expect us to have more planned in a full length day, but the air is still pretty thin up there, so it doesn’t take much to take the wind out of you. Quantity wasn’t important, but we made the most of quality. Speaking of quality, we ate some really good food that week. We bought some fresh red snapper from a fish market at some point in the week, and SOOO it was good.

We were gonna pick up some king crab, because we are in Alaska, but it was $20 a pound…and we had to buy the whole live crab…and it was like 10 pounds. Yea, $200 for a crab…it better be able to roll over and heel on command before we need it to play dead. We went with the fish.

A lot of the following days were spent exploring Untamed Alaska. Was the name of Sarah Palin’s show? I dunno, doesn’t matter, didn’t watch. We found lots of cool areas out in the woods to navigate, and even went to the beach. I have, for like 10-15 years, wanted to go to a beach, and at the same time look at the mountains. My family has discussed a visit at some point to New Zealand to visit long lost family at which time this could be accomplished. I didn’t expect that I would be able to cross that item off my bucket list on a trip to Alaska, but low and behold…

Standing on the beach, staring at the mountains…check.

There was a plethora of fantastic scenery out there, so I’ll satisfy your palate with a little more of this winter wonderland.

Beautiful, right. I had a solid week of that. But just like this post, it was all over so fast. It felt like no time before I was back on a plane headed for 50 degree warmer temperatures. Ugh, it’s 80’s here and I’m hating it. I think I’m a bad Texan.

Quick question before I go. We love our right to bare arms. If and when the eskimos enter the global conflict, and they will, it’s only a matter of time, will they request the right to arm bears? They’d be like ferocious shock troopers. Awesome right? Anyways…

I’ve got a lot of stuff I want to post, so I can almost guarantee I’ll be back on here in a couple of days. Until then.

Keep your heads up, your minds sharp, and your hearts open.

– The Outlaw


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