Triage for a Stifled Soul

Posted: October 18, 2011 in Free Styling, School

Friends and followers, welcome back to my humble blog. I don’t have much for you this time, I just mainly want to get some stuff off of my chest that has been bugging me today, so brace yourselves. But that’s now, and this is then…yea, I’m pretty sure that’s what I mean. You know what time it is. Updates and New News.

Had the spanish final today. I don’t have the grade yet, but I feel good about it. Well, I feel a lot better about this test than I did after I took the first one. Let’s hope that means good news for me, and here’s hoping that get to continue for the second half of the semester.

I’ve felt a small return a creative juices recently, but as I’ve been studying so hard I haven’t been able to make much of it. That may be on the heels of a small paradigm shift of mine, which leads me to the point of this post.

I’ve noticed patterns of behavior within myself that I tried to do away with. I’m not talking about the rock and roll all night/party every day attitude that I had at OU. I’m actually referring to a version of myself that was overly appeasing and tried to bend myself to what everyone else wanted out of me. I’ve been setting myself back into those habits…and it needs to stop. It’s been stifling my creative juices, and compromising who I am.  So I might not be what my roommates expected out of an ideal roomy. They aren’t what I expected out of them, and I don’t see them changing, so why should I? If I’m not living up to your expectations, than too bad.

I need to get back to the artist that I once was. Artists don’t create work according to what their fans want, they create what needs to escape their minds. True artists put pen to paper let their soul spill out. A stifled soul will not sing. People will either love or hate their work, it’s the nature of the profession. For those that love it, the artist will show them much love and appreciation. For those that don’t, we ignore them.

That’s where I need to get back to. Things are changing here. I’m getting my mind right.
I call myself the Outlaw for a reason. I stand apart. I won’t be the first time I’ve gone it alone, and it certainly won’t be the last.

Ugh…I should have warned y’all that this was ranting territory. Like I said, it’s been bugging me. I think I’m done now. Thanks for allowing me to weather this storm that’s been brewing inside me. Hopefully now, I can start firing on all cylinders. Stay tuned for good news, and bigger things…hopefully. It’s an art, not a science.

Keep your heads up, your minds sharp, and your hearts open.

– The Outlaw


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